Matching Independently:
Where to Look
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First you will need to figure out where you want to look for matches. There are 3 main places that people look, with some overlap.
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Family, Friends, Friends of Friends, etc.
The first thing you can do as either a potential IP or surrogate is put the idea out to your family and friends.
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As someone thinking about becoming a surrogate, you might have some close friends or family members that you talk to about wanting to become a surrogate.
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As someone starting their search for a surrogate, it is a great idea to put the word out to your family and friends about what you are doing. Tell them, if they don't already know, that you have ____ reason for needing a surrogate, and you have gotten to the point of embarking upon the journey. Sometimes a family member or friend will be moved to volunteer to help you. Sometimes a friend or family member will have a friend or family member of their own who has mentioned wanting to be a surrogate (or even having been a surrogate in the past). Matches *are* made this way; people come out of the woodwork! Not always, but if you are willing to share what you're going through, this is a good option to explore. You never know.
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There are 3 websites that I found useful when trying to find an independent match online.
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To make things easier, I'll refer to them as SMO, FSM, and AAS.
SMO and AAS have other resources besides classifieds that you can browse through. I have linked to the classifieds above, however. SMO is probably the most popular.
FSM is where I found my independent match, but it has changed since I used it. Some features are now inaccessible unless you pay for a premium membership. As of this writing, as a surrogate mother member, it would cost me $150 (USD) for 3 months, $200 for 6 months, or $300 for 12 months of premium membership. The major feature you are missing by not paying for the premium membership, is the ability to send people messages. When you send someone a message, they receive an email notifying them of the message. With a free membership, you can now only post comments on people's profiles, which they are not notified of via email and therefore often will not see or be aware of, at least not in any sort of timely fashion. You have to very purposefully view your own profile to check for comments. They aren't shown on the pages you normally look at when you're logged in to your own account.
SMO and AAS are very similar to each other (in fact, I noticed many cross posted ads between these sites when I was searching). They both give you the option to search classified ads and respond through the website. However, when you respond, you have to give your email address when sending a message. You can also place your own classified ads on these sites. They are free to use.
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Online Classifieds/Matching Websites
Social Media
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This is the one that can overlap with the other two options, listed above.
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If you belong to a social media site like Facebook, and you feel comfortable sharing this information with your friends online, you can make a post online to put the word out that you are either looking for a surrogate or looking to be a surrogate.
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There are also groups on Facebook that are intended to bring IPs and surrogates together to match independently. You can check some of these out, but be very wary. Of course, you should always be wary when talking to people online, but I just feel like I should give an extra word of caution when directing people toward Facebook surrogacy groups. The option is there, but proceed with care and at your own risk.
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